Sample Thesis Statements

A good thesis statement is the key to a good essay. You don’t want to choose a thesis that is too broad or too narrow. You want to make a clear point, but also need to be able to support that topic thoroughly.

Below is a list of five thesis statements—some good, some not so good. Which one would you say is the “best” thesis? Which one is the “worst”?

1.    Illegal immigration is a problem in the United States.

2.    Some southwestern states have passed laws cracking down on illegal immigration.

3.    Anti-immigration laws, such as Arizona’s SB-1070, do little to curb the number of attempted border crossings from Mexico to the United States.

4.    Most illegal immigrants in the United States come from Mexico.

5.    While illegal immigration has many negative effects on US citizens, our failure to distinguish between legal and illegal immigrants has placed many people in danger.

Let me explain why these thesis statements are not as strong as they could be and how I would respond if a student submitted any of these as a thesis statement.


1. Illegal immigration is a problem in the United States.
 

This is a "yeah, duh" thesis statement. Turn on the news and every reporter or politician will tell you the same thing. Basically, this is obvious and doesn't offer any argument or solutions. This thesis is too simplistic and needs to go further.

2. Some southwestern states have passed laws cracking down on illegal immigration.

This is a fact, not a debatable claim. All you have to do it cite the legislations various states have passed in the last two years to prove it. As a fact, it is not a debatable claim and, therefore, is not an acceptable thesis statement because there is nothing to argue.

3. Anti-immigration laws, such as Arizona’s SB-1070, do little to curb the number of attempted border crossings from Mexico to the United States.

This is good. It has a clear subject (anti-immigration laws) and a clear argument (they don't work) which is contrary to what many people believe (that anti-immigration laws do work). It could be better by being more specific (why don't they work) or by offering a suggestion (how to make the laws better).

4. Most illegal immigrants in the United States come from Mexico.

Like #2, this is a fact. All you need to do is find a government website that gives statistics on numbers of illegal immigrants every year and you would be done. As a fact, it is not a debatable claim and, therefore, is not an acceptable thesis statement because there is nothing to argue.

5. While illegal immigration has many negative effects on US citizens, our failure to distinguish between legal and illegal immigrants has placed many people in danger.

This one is also good (and probably the best one of the lot). The biggest problem is that "our" is a second-person pronoun ( a big No! No!), so watch out for that. The second problem is that it fails to name a clear subject. Who is "our"? Is it the laws or individual people who fail to distinguish between legal and illegal immigrants? If it is laws, then there is a case here. But if it is talking about individual people, then it will be nearly impossible to prove.